For You
by Dark Paine
Summary: With their memories erased, Kokoro and Mitsuru's only visible connection to each other are the rings on their fingers. Things begin to change when one of them starts seeing glimpses of their true past. KokoroXMitsuru. Spoilers up to episode 19 and possibly after
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** For You

 **Summary:** With their memories erased, Kokoro and Mitsuru's only visible connection to each other are the rings on their fingers. Things begin to change when one of them starts seeing glimpses of their true past. KokoroXMitsuru. Spoilers up to episode 19.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own these characters.

* * *

 _I breathe your air_

 _You're in my lungs_

 _I need to fool my heart for once_

 _I know our days are counted_

 **For You**

"This is really important! I feel bad for you, but you're not changing your mind!" her partner's raised voice surprised Kokoro, and she found she could not say anything more to him as he walked away. Her eyes followed him as she stood almost frozen in place, thinking about what had transpired only moments ago. Even with whatever the team had told her, how could her ever devoted partner treat her this way?

Hadn't they promised to pilot together forever?

Blue eyes turned to the floor, not being able to grasp what kind of situation she was in at all. No matter how hard she tried to convince Futoshi to pilot with her, he refused. He was adamant about Kokoro piloting with another…

Why had Futoshi suggested she pilot with another? _They_ were partners after all, having fought together in so many battles before and having no problems whatsoever… They got along well and he always made sure she was okay and protected her…What was so different now?

"What were you talking about?" a familiar voice brought her out of her thoughts. Head raising, blue eyes met green. Kokoro felt an odd sense of comfort deep within her, almost reassuring her and giving her a silent strength she couldn't explain. She wanted to be honest with him for some strange reason, to explain in great detail what was going on in her mind and express her feelings, but she couldn't.

 _He was the reason._

"Oh, you saw that?" She couldn't hide the slightly embarrassed look on her face. What could she say to her apparent fellow teammate? Originally she had assumed he was brand new to Squad 13, but after all the others banded together to say otherwise, desperate for Kokoro to believe all of them, she had accepted they had been teammates and just couldn't remember it because of her mysterious memory loss.

It was her fellow female squad mates Miku, Ichigo, and Ikuno who had prodded her and explained who Mitsuru was to her. They were huddled in a tight circle one night and they talked about how the pair had piloted together. They explained that she and Mitsuru were the reason the team could defeat a Klaxosaur that seemed to be able to regenerate and heal itself faster than they could reach its' core. In fact, that was also the first time they had piloted together.

They had explained it with such conviction and wonder that Kokoro almost felt terrible for not believing them. In fact, a part of her didn't believe it still…but the way all of the girls had told her of the stories…she felt just as bad for doubting them. Her feelings only worsened when their looks of astonishment filled their faces when Kokoro had not shown any sort of deep reaction to their words. When she tried to think of Mitsuru, her mind was blank, only filled with darkness. She tried to reassure her friends that hopefully one day she would be able to remember, but she had no idea when that would be.

Days, months, or even years from now.

While her teammates were trying to help her regain some of her memories, she knew they weren't telling her absolutely everything that had transpired between she and Mitsuru. Of course, there would be things only the two of them knew, but it seemed as though her teammates were unsure of whether or not to tell her everything.

It had been Zero Two, who had joined the group of girls sitting far away from the boys, who had said it would be better for Kokoro and more believable if she were to regain her memories and feelings without too much help from the others. This way, Kokoro would not have any doubt that her own memories and feelings were true and not planted by anyone else. It would also reduce the risk of Kokoro being put under too much stress from the others, which might even let her regain her memories faster.

After a while, it really started to frustrate Kokoro, unbeknownst to her squad.

She was amazed Mitsuru was even standing there alone with her. Since returning to their team, he was usually off by himself or with the group as a whole. He was never usually just with a single person one-on-one.

Kokoro had watched him only by chance wandering the halls of the Bird's Nest that all the parasites were currently residing by himself. Even then she didn't know why her feet had begged her to go to him.

Mitsuru came to stand before her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to."

For someone who was not as close to her as Futoshi, she didn't know why her chest constricted just a little at the tone- or lack of– in his voice. They barely knew each other after all, he was Ikuno's partner and mostly kept to himself. She barely had any, if any at all, encounters with him outside of their group, and they had just met days ago.

Or had they?

It was told to Kokoro that she was the one who had proposed riding with Mitsuru, shocking the usually quiet girl herself. Her memories were filled of her riding Genista with Futoshi, not with Mitsuru.

But why couldn't she remember anything about this short haired boy that stood in front of her?

Confusion riddling her again, Kokoro sat down on the couch behind her, reveling in the softness and comfort it brought her tense body. "Futoshi doesn't want to be my partner anymore. He says he'll team up with Ikuno and he wants me to team up with you."

His green eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "But why?"

She felt a pang go through her, but ignored it. "It's too sudden, right?" Her gaze lifted to Mitsuru's. He hadn't moved an inch towards her, remaining as still as stone a mere few feet away from her. His lips were in a thin line before he began speaking again.

"They keep telling us about all this stuff that happened between us, but we don't remember any of it."

Kokoro could feel her mouth open slightly, recalling how their whole team told them stories about the beach, how they piloted together, and even their decision to have a 'wedding,' which she knew nothing about.

What could have possibly happened between them for she and Mitsuru to have perhaps developed such a strong connection to each other? Why would she have chosen to be his partner anyway? Right now there was absolutely no deep relationship they had for one another. He was tolerant, but cold towards her, plus she…

"And even if they are telling the truth, I don't believe I'll ever develop those feelings for you."

Mouth still slightly agape, the pain in her chest seem to worsen, like her heart was being ripped out. She almost felt as if she would cry. Ripping her eyes away from Mitsuru's, Kokoro looked down at her ring, the twin to the one still adorning the green-eyed boys left hand. Why he hadn't taken it off, she didn't know.

Just as she didn't know why it remained on her finger, other than when she had gone to take it off, she found she had no strength to do so.

"Yea, it's probably the same for me."

But she knew her words were a lie.

* * *

Squad 13 exited the room from which they met with Dr. Franxx and Papa. One by one, they left with mixed expressions on their faces. Zorome seeming to have the most pitiful of them all.

Lowering her gaze, pink hair shifted slightly while Zero Two waited for her darling to exit. She had remained outside, having no desire to lay her eyes upon a computer image of their precious _Papa,_ whom she despised. She most definitely did not want to be in the presence of the doctor, either.

Zero Two had come to cherish their little squad and he had disrupted their bond. She felt her teeth clench in anger before hearing the door open again. She visibly relaxed before she felt familiar eyes gazing down on her.

"Darling, you pervert."

Hiro knelt down before her. Zero Two's cyan eyes met her darlings, waiting to hear the news from her beloved.

"Zero Two, we made our decision."

"Right." A small smile played on her lips, realizing the magnitude of what had just occurred and the danger that now lay ahead of them.

"Let's go, Zero Two." She took the hand that was extended towards her and stood, returning his grip tightly as they walked down the hall together.

Foreboding filled her with each step they took together down the long hallway. What the future held was unbeknownst to any of them, but Zero Two knew she would never let go of her darling ever again.

* * *

Their squad mates settled around them on the couches with expressions varying from one person to the next. Whatever had transpired without both Kokoro and Mitsuru had the long haired girl feeling unsettled.

Just as Hiro and Zero Two entered the room, Mitsuru took a seat next to Kokoro.

"I will be your partner, but don't expect anything from me," he said almost robotically. Again, the words were eerily familiar to Kokoro, but she did not have enough time to contemplate them when Hiro spoke.

"Papa has agreed to set us free after this last mission."

It was only Kokoro and Mitsuru who were taken aback, the rest of their members not moving from their positions, seemingly knowing this information already.

"Free? What is that supposed to mean?" Mitsuru tried to keep his voice steady, but to be _free_? What did that mean for all of them?

Zero Two and Hiro joined the rest of their teammates on the couch. It was Hiro who began speaking first.

"I don't think Papa intends to easily let us go," he began as all of Squad 13 seemed to be shifting and moving to sit more formally together. "We are going to need to think of a way to get all of us out alive."

They all knew that the current living parasites were gathered here for a reason. There was an important and large scale battle coming, and it would need all of the parasites working together to achieve the goals of APE and Papa.

A moment of silence washed over all of them before Ichigo moved first.

Ichigo's expression seemed to focus with determination as she glanced at Goro with a nod before turning back to the others. "No matter what happens, I will make sure that we will make it out, together."

Zorome lifted his head from his knees slightly. "How? How are all of us going to make it out alive? Even if we did, what happens after when we are free? We were never going to become adults anyway!"

Miku put a hand on her partners' shoulder, trying to give him some of her strength. "Zorome…"

"As long as we have each other, we can do anything."

The group seemed to look up slowly at the pink haired fighter. Her words seeming to hit each of them like a domino effect and sink in. It was true, as a team that had accomplished more than what anyone had thought they could.

As a team, they were invincible.

Hiro couldn't stop the smile that formed on his lips as he looked at his partner. "You're right, Zero Two."

In that moment, it seemed as if all of Squad 13 were revitalized and ready to fight.

* * *

The group had remained together for a while, discussing different possibilities and strategies. Their course of action would be chosen in the days to come, and before the battle they would continue to try and predict just what Papa would try to command them to do.

It was Ikuno who brought up the possibility of Papa using Protocol 32, and all of their members seemed to shudder. Their once glowing determination and fighting spirits sputtering for a moment.

Even both Mitsuru and Kokoro could not forget the squad that had blown themselves up in order to try and stop the Klaxosaur that had been attacking the Gran Crevasse. Although at the time she strongly remembered piloting Genista with Futoshi…

Hiro had taken a moment before declaring, "I won't let him use Protocol 32 on our team."

How he would be able to do that, Kokoro didn't know. As time went by, their team had run through various possibilities before deciding to take a rest. It had been a rather long and stressful morning and afternoon for all of them.

They all had, however, agreed that they would remain together as a team and fight as a team.

Mitsuru was the last to leave, seeming almost hesitant before raising to his feet. Kokoro didn't stop him as he walked away from her, leaving her to sit in silence. It seemed as though hours went by before she stood herself, finding her way to what had become her favorite place.

Like Mitsuru, after a while she would find herself wandering the Bird's Nest alone, only coming to stand by a window looking out to what seemed like metal trees with no foliage. They were comforting to look at, and seemed familiar in the strangest way.

The first time she had come to this place, she remembered the small pink flower petal that seemed to float by her, a sakura blossom. Just the word escaping her lips brought her such joy, but also such sadness and fear. What was the significance of this sakura petal?

She found her fingers lightly grasping the ring to turn it around on her finger. It almost seemed as though it was helping her to try and regain her memories with each turn, but it was hopeless. Kokoro could feel herself almost glaring at the metal 'trees' before her, trying to will her memories to return, but again there was nothing.

 _Why can't I remember?_

She felt something wet and warm drag up the side of her face for a second before she jumped away, staring into the cyan eyes of Zero Two. She had definitely succeeded in ripping Kokoro from her agonizing thoughts.

"W-What is it, Zero Two?"

"You're starting to get angry…" was that a tinge of disbelief in Zero Two's voice?

"Uhhmm…" Kokoro felt her cheeks slightly redden at being caught in her own contemplations and the fact that Zero Two could sense she was getting irritated. Kokoro wasn't one to let her emotions show so easily, but she had been caught this time.

"Piloting together with Mitsuru will be a good thing for both of you," she said, her voice just loud enough for both of them to hear, sounding almost reassuring.

"You think so?"

Zero Two gave a curt nod, turning to leave without giving any further explanation.

Bringing her hands to her chest, Kokoro clasped them together, turning her eyes from the retreating form of Zero Two back to the metal trees.

If she were to regain her memories, what then? How much of her current reality would it change? She remembered the stories the girls had told her and felt her heart quicken just a bit.

Right now, she felt oddly comfortable with the memories she recalled in her brain. Having the possibility of them being completely changed was slightly frightening for Kokoro.

But didn't she deserve to have her real memories return?

If she had found some sort of happiness with Mitsuru, didn't they both deserve to remember the time they shared together?

A small sense of hope started to bud within Kokoro. Although her 'new' partner seemed to keep her as well as all of their teammates at arms length, maybe there had been some sort of change before?

A part of Kokoro wished she could remember seeing Mitsuru with a warm look in his eyes instead of the cold gaze he had shown her earlier.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** For You

 **Summary:** With their memories erased, Kokoro and Mitsuru's only visible connection to each other are the rings on their fingers. Things begin to change when one of them starts seeing glimpses of their true past. KokoroXMitsuru spoilers up to episode 19

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own these characters.

* * *

 _Walking towards the end_

 _Look deep into my eyes and_

 _Remember I'm your friend_

 _Please don't cry_

 **For You**

The areas in which the parasites could explore were more than what Kokoro had expected, or rather they were on a larger scale than what she had been used to at Mistilteinn. Granted, all of the parasites had converged at this location, so it only made sense that the different areas were larger.

She had yet to find an area that could possibly have flowers, or even an area where she could be securely alone in her thoughts. Her usual spot gazing at the metal trees allowed for anyone to pass by her to observe, and these days she was slowly making her way around the Bird's Nest to try and find a secret location.

For the time being, the large library seemed to be a temporary location where she could be lost between the bookshelves. Should another person come close to where she was standing, there would be another area close by that was vacant.

Kokoro's blue eyes skimmed over the various books that lined the shelves of the bookcases around her. Various books of cooking, cleaning, and some meditation techniques lined them. Their covers seemed to be mostly in white, brown, or even black. There didn't appear to be any sort of bright or colorful books around, making it difficult for Kokoro to differentiate between titles. Her focus seemed to blur as her eyes kept moving from book to book, not being able to focus on any in particular.

There were a few parasites scattered around the library, but Kokoro silently made her way through the rows, trying not to disturb those who were around her. Soon she found she had reached the last set of bookshelves, and with a light sigh of defeat, she made her way to leave the library.

Making it through the doorway, she turned right to continue her search down the hallway. The end of the hallway seemed so far, and it was almost eerily quiet as Kokoro continued. Briefly she wondered what time it was just as she came to a door that had no window to see through. There was no sign as to what was located behind the said door, and Kokoro couldn't stop her hand from reaching for the doorknob.

It was unlocked and slowly she pushed the door to reveal what lay beyond. To her disappointment, it was just a small empty space. Nothing lay inside, and there was no other door to possibly bring her to an outside area. Kokoro felt a frown grace her lips as she closed the door.

"What do we have here?" came a voice that she had not heard in a long time, sending shivers down her spine.

Turning, blue eyes met green, but not the deep green she had almost wished had greeted her back.

She watched as the blond haired Nine Alpha sauntered his way towards her, all the while her mind silently screeching in warning. Kokoro felt as though she had been caught doing something forbidden and wondered how he would reprimand her.

Kokoro tried to delve into her mind as to what he had done to make her have such a reaction, but the only memory she could recall of this elite member was on the battlefield at the Gran Crevasse. There was nothing that stood out to justify all the warning signals going off within her.

"Find anything interesting in there?" he questioned with a smug smirk on his face. There was no kindness in his eyes, and Kokoro had to fight the urge to physically step away from him. Instinctively, she brought her hands up to her chest, as though she was trying to create a barrier between them. He was a mere few inches from her now.

She opened her mouth to answer, but it seemed the air had been pushed from her lungs.

The blond's gaze shifted as his head tilted, awaiting her response. "Hmm?" It was almost a taunt.

"Kokoro!"

As if the spell Nine Alpha had cast upon her broke, Kokoro felt her body shift away from the intimidating figure before her. She felt a hand tightly grasp her elbow before her eyes looked at Goro.

He, however, appeared to be almost glaring at Nine Alpha who had straightened his form and crossed his arms over his chest.

"What are you doing with Kokoro?" he snapped. It wasn't like Goro to express such emotions in his voice, having always been the cool and collected one even in the direst of situations.

What exactly had, Nine Alpha done?

"I'm just checking up on a valuable member of Squad 13," droned Alpha Nine. "Is there something wrong with that?"

It felt as if he was baiting Goro into an argument, the tension between the two seeming to worsen as their glares intensified.

"Goro?" her soft voice brought Goro's attention down to her almost immediately. The hardness in his eyes seeming to dissipate.

"Come on, Kokoro. It's time to eat." Without so much as acknowledging the intruder, Goro turned both of them in the opposite direction down the hall and towards the cafeteria.

With each step she took, Kokoro felt her body relax and a weight lift off of her shoulders. "Thank you, Goro."

Giving her a sheepish smile, Goro shook his head. "There is no need, but try to stay away from that guy, okay?"

Kokoro nodded her head, still not understanding why her body had reacted the way it had, or the fact that Goro had seemed to be desperate to rescue her from the situation she had found herself in.

Looking ahead, she could see Mitsuru at the end of the hallway. He was looking past them, at Nine Alpha she guessed. When they were close enough, his gaze fell to Goro's hand around her elbow and his brows seemed to furrow.

Quickly, Goro's hand left her elbow to scratch the back of his head. "Sorry to cut your off before Mitsuru, but I also think it is best if you stay away from that guy as well."

"Is that so?"

Before Mitsuru could say anything else, Goro placed a hand on his shoulder. "Come on now, let's go eat," he said before moving past him, leaving Mitsuru to stand alone in front of Kokoro.

Deep green eyes scanned her face, but gave nothing away as he turned to follow their tallest squad member. It wasn't until he took a few more steps that he stopped, hands in his pockets, before turning his head slightly to consider her.

"You're hungry, aren't you?"

"Ah, yes!" she agreed before moving to catch up to her _new_ partner. "Let's go!"

* * *

The cafeteria was crowded and bustling with noise as Squad 13 sat together at a long table to eat their dinner. It had taken them a few meals to get used to such a large and rather loud place. All of them silently mourned the loss of their peaceful eating quarters in their plantation.

Dinner consisted of a soup, bread, fish, and some type of salad. The food they were served proved just to be as good as they had remembered when their plantation was still intact.

Before they had been left to their own devices.

Her teammates ate silently around her, Zero Two feeding Hiro like usual, Goro, Ichigo and Miku discussing what had transpired with Nine Alpha earlier. Zorome sat silently, taking small bites of his food, but mostly moving it around his tray. Ikuno sat beside Kokoro, making small chat with Futoshi who sat opposite of her.

Mitsuru sat on the other side of the table from Kokoro, cleanly eating his food without making a mess. He chewed his food silently, making no noise to disturb or disgust the people around him. It was almost as if he could drown out all of the chatter around him somehow.

Kokoro picked up her spoon and began eating her soup. The taste was rather soothing as it went down her throat.

"If the nines are here, then it seems as though we are getting closer to our final mission," she heard Hiro state.

Ichigo turned to look at Kokoro, having been told of her encounter with the nines only moments before. "Are you okay Kokoro? Did he do anything to you?" Her voice was filled with worry and concern.

Feeling all of their eyes on her, Kokoro nervously looked down at her tray, beginning to poke at her piece of fish that she had eaten a few bites of. Even Mitsuru had stopped eating to observe her.

"No, I'm alright," she tried to reassure them, hoping her answer was enough to get the attention off of her. She picked up her fork to shove a piece of fish into her mouth before pressing the piece of metal it into her salad.

Her answer appeared to be suitable enough as the eyes that were once fixated on her shifted away.

"We really need to be careful of them," Miku's small voice uttered and as a team they agreed.

"Why should we avoid the nines?" probed Mitsuru, having also been curious as to why everyone deemed the elite squad needing to be steered clear of.

Zero Two didn't hide the menace in her voice, "Because they are evil and don't give a damn about anyone but themselves and the _rules._ "

Hiro shifted to put his hand over his pink-haired partners', knowing that she was remembering her failed attempted at trying to prevent the nines from taking Mitsuru and Kokoro.

"They are the reason you and Kokoro cannot remember each other," it was Ikuno who voiced the explanation that he and Kokoro had been searching for.

The pair looked at Ikuno.

"Really?" asked Kokoro, feeling her throat go dry.

"Why would he do that?" questioned Mitsuru further. He had also been told of this sort of 'wedding' and apparent closeness to Kokoro, however even now he still didn't completely understand or even believe his teammates words.

Before Ikuno could continue, Ichigo interrupted them. "What matters is that we all should avoid them from here on out. If you can, try not to walk around alone. It might be safer if we start staying closer together."

Resigning himself that he would not get the answer he was looking for, Mitsuru returned to finishing his meal. His face returned to its rather stone like appearance as he continued his meal meticulously.

Kokoro, on the other hand, felt as though she didn't want to learn anything more for the time being. She pushed the pieces of lettuce she had stabbed with her fork into her mouth and found that the taste was rather familiar. Chewing quickly, she took another bite and continued to stare down at the bundle of leafy greens, perplexity marring her face.

Suddenly, there was a quick flash, almost as if she were looking down into a bowl filled with similar plants and green leaves she had apparently been picking. The bowl was on a wooden table, and she almost missed the hidden figure sitting nearby. She didn't register the clanging of her fork hitting her tray.

This memory…it wasn't one she had remembered before.

She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the memory to return but to no avail. The familiar feeling of frustration began to creep up on her.

A hand was on her shoulder, "Kokoro?"

When she looked at Ikuno, she saw the expression behind her glasses shift to trepidation. "Why are you crying?" she asked quiety.

But the movement of Kokoro's hand to brush away the tears she had not noticed falling down her face did not go unnoticed by either of their partners.

Futoshi seemed to be biting his tongue as he glanced between she and Mitsuru, almost as if to will the deep green-eyed boy to say something-anything to comfort Kokoro. Even when Futoshi elbowed him, he did not seem to get the hint.

"Please excuse me," she said quickly before standing to leave for the nearest bathroom in the hall.

* * *

Sure enough, the image that greeted Kokoro in the bathroom mirror was a rather depressing sight. Her cheeks were stained with the trails of her tears, eyes watery with those that had not fallen yet.

Yanking the sink handle up, Kokoro plunged her hands under the cold water and began splashing her face. Her body felt numb as she stood hunched over the sink, desperate to clean herself. Her head still had a faint throb since having the flash of memory, but with each passing moment it started to dissipate.

Releasing a deep breath, Kokoro let her hands grasp the sides of the sink. How could eating a salad give her such a strong and almost ridiculous reaction? _A salad…_

Eyes almost instinctively landed on the silver metal band that graced her left hand. She could feel her eyes narrow, but not in irritation. Rather, she was trying to will herself again to remember anything that had to do with this band. After all, she had such a reaction from eating some leafy greens, why hadn't she experienced any sort of reaction from observing or touching her ring?

Tense moments passed as her eyes bore down at the silver band.

Nothing. There was absolutely nothing.

Standing, Kokoro dried her face and fixed her hair just as a few pairs of parasites entered. She didn't bother looking at them as she made her way out to the hallway, turning towards the direction of their sleeping area. She had no appetite to finish her meal and it was getting late anyway.

"Are you alright?"

Again, this question, and again it wasn't filled with as much worry as she felt like she wanted to hear.

Mitsuru was leaning against the wall, arms crossed before pushing himself towards her. His eyes seemed to travel her appearance and glance at the damp hairs framing her face before coming to a stop beside her.

Kokoro shook her head, plastering a forced smile on her face. "It's nothing."

For a moment it seemed as though he was going to continue to pry, before shifting his body. "The others have returned to our sleeping quarters."

Without waiting for her to respond, Mitsuru began making his way down the hall. Realizing he would not wait for her to accept his invitation, Kokoro was swift to join him, staying a short distance behind.

There was an impulse to walk closely beside him, but instead Kokoro forced herself to remain where she was. Her eyes were locked on his back, wondering if this was ever going to be as close as they would get. He, leading the way, and she following.

How had they grown so close to each other in the past? They had apparently worked well as partners and trusted each other unconditionally while on the battlefield and…

Her blue eyes traveled to the back of his head, finding his hairstyle to be rather cute before turning her gaze away with a blush.

Had they really developed deep feelings for one another?

Maybe she could have in some way, already realizing her spark of attraction towards him even though he gave her no reason to be viewed in such a way. She wasn't one to express herself so easily, or reveal her true thoughts in front of others, but she wondered why he didn't seem to care in the slightest about their history together.

" _And even if they are telling the truth, I don't believe I'll ever develop those feelings for you."_

* * *

She remembered it.

 _All of it._

The last time she rested, she didn't know. Her dead stare was unfocused on the wall of the small gray cell she had been secluded to. When was the last time she had moved?

" _Why is it so wrong to feel emotions?"_

Images of her past ran through her mind over and over again. Her life as a parasite, learning of her placement on a team, meeting her partner, forming bonds with her teammates, and falling in love…

She didn't flinch at the image of her beloved hunched over, dying. It had played too many times over in her mind by now.

How long had she been here? Days? Months? Years?

It didn't matter.

This was her punishment. Her punishment for not being able to stop it. Her punishment for letting herself forget.

She was helpless to rescue and keep him alive even though they had promised to protect one another.

Promised to be together forever.

She had let him die in battle, while he protected her. She was a coward.

How could she have forgotten something so tragic? How could she have forgotten the one person she had found true happiness with?

 _What was his name?_

No matter how hard she tried to remember, that important information seemed to still be locked away in the deepest recesses of her brain.

She had heard the door to her locked room open, but didn't turn to see who it was. She had no interested and was equally less interested in what they had to say.

The voice was familiar though, and she faintly heard him pick up her uneaten tray of food to lay another down beside her. Hachi, was it?

The will to look at him no longer existed. It would take too much energy to turn and face her former teammate. She had forgotten that fact as well.

Why had he rescued her that day? Why didn't he just let her die with her beloved?

She should have died that day, silently wished she had perished in the same attack that took her partner.

"You should eat something; you need your strength."

Mouth slightly agape, lost in her own world, she didn't bother to address the short-haired adult that remained in her doorway for a few minutes longer.

He seemed hesitant before stepping back and allowing her door to automatically close, leaving her in total darkness.

 _Papa._

It was forbidden for adults to feel any sort of emotion. Their duty was to remain emotionless and clear minded at all times in order to ensure successful missions for the squads they looked after. It was also a way to make sure that everyone fell in line to follow the rules that _Papa_ had instructed each and every citizen to follow.

She remembered now who had given the order to clear her precious memories.

In the dark, where no one could see, resentment started to burn within.

 _Rage_.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** For You

 **Summary:** With their memories erased, Kokoro and Mitsuru's only visible connection to each other are the rings on their fingers. Things begin to change when one of them starts seeing glimpses of their true past. KokoroXMitsuru spoilers up to episode 19

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own these characters.

 _Don't Don't_

 _Please don't cry_

 _You really should have seen it coming_

 _Open your eyes_

 _Your dying to pick all the pieces up_

 _Well I don't_

 _You make me wanna rip my heart out_

 **For You**

For some reason she felt incredibly depressed.

She was back at Mistilteinn, in the greenhouse where she usually mulled over her thoughts and feelings, finding peace amongst the flowers. The sun was setting in the distance, but her eyes were fixated on a bundle of light purple lilacs she had been taking care of.

Her hand was grasping a doll; one she was faintly familiar with. The reason behind its creation was still unclear to Kokoro, but she held onto the doll tightly.

Whatever had been building inside of Kokoro seemed to erupt as she began to shake. The shaking morphed into sniffling, which eventually turned to her crying violently. Her knees hit the ground almost painfully, but she didn't care. Her free hand came up to grasp the collar of her uniform in anguish.

She wasn't sure the reason behind her agony, but she could feel her heart breaking painfully in her chest. The burning sensation that traveled through her body was numbing as she let the grief consume her.

Her violent sobs filled the greenhouse. In that moment she felt incredibly alone, like she was sinking slowly into a pit of darkness that she couldn't claw her way out of. She folded into herself, wishing the pain would end as she clutched her doll to her chest.

After what seemed like an eternity, a comforting hand soothingly caressed her back in circles. Kokoro felt her body calm in reflex, enjoying the feel of the hand moving to hug her from behind. She could feel someone rest their head on her shoulder, placing soothing kisses from her neck up to her cheek, moving her long hair carefully out of their way.

Her back was pressed against a warm, hard chest, that was rocking back and forth with her tenderly, trying to relieve even a little of her agony.

Sobbing turned to sniffles, then eventually to silent tears until even they seemed to slow. Her body slumped back into the hard chest that supported her, the careful rocking never ceasing. She felt herself almost being lulled to sleep as her eyes became heavy.

In the moments before she felt as though she would slip off into oblivion, Kokoro turned her head to peer at her source of comfort and solace.

Deep green eyes greeted her, the slightly familiar face that seemed so oddly out of place now was graced with a kindhearted smile, one she had never seen before. In all of her memories of him, although few, he had never shown such emotions on his face.

And the way he looked at her…

 _Mitsuru_ …

With a jolt, Kokoro shot up from her sleeping futon, breathing heavily. She glanced amongst her teammates who were scattered around their room, all in a deep sleep. Her eyes landed on boy that had been in her dream.

He was on his side, turned away from all of them, making no sound. She stared, eyes remaining on his form until she noticed the slight rise and fall of the blanket on top of him. He too must still be sleeping.

Silently, she moved the blanket off of her and tiptoed out of their sleeping quarters. Her head was throbbing faintly and she felt a little nauseous. Making her way to the bathroom, Kokoro made sure her footsteps were light, not wanting to alert anyone of her absence or raise attention towards her.

The communal bathrooms were located in the middle of the hallway on their floor. By the time she reached the entrance, her stomach gave a slight lurch and she rushed for the bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach. She hated the burning sensation in her throat, and when she was sure she had nothing left to throw up, Kokoro staggered to the sink and rinsed her mouth out.

She couldn't remember the last time she had thrown up. Was it when she was still at Garden? All those years ago? She was just a child then and had eaten something that didn't sit right in her stomach.

These days however, she was eating much of the same meals over and over and had not had a strong reaction. Was she getting sick? She hadn't heard anything about a stomach bug amongst the other parasites.

She looked at her pale reflection in the mirror, the color had most definitely drained from her face. Something wasn't totally right, and Kokoro began to feel a tinge of fear. How could she be getting sick when Papa had brought her back to her squad to complete their final mission? He was counting on all of them to be able to fight and achieve his dream.

Splashing her face with water, Kokoro breathed deeply and looked at her reflection once again. Her eyes roamed her own face, taking a mental note that she needed to be more careful and to eat as many fruits and vegetables as she could within the next couple of days. She need to be strong, she needed to be able to fight.

There was no way she was going to let Papa down after he had so graciously given her a second chance.

* * *

"Doctor," greeted the taller, and younger commander.

The old man, who was basically half a robot, turned to look at the stoic adult. His manufactured eye observing the short haired man closely, retaining the various information it had picked up. "Where is Nana?"

A hint of confusion graced Hachi's face. "I have sent Nana to explain the drill to Squad 13. She's-"

"You know of which Nana I'm talking about," he sharply cut him off.

Hachi grit his teeth. "She's being kept separated from the population."

The doctor released an unsurprised sigh. "I see." His hand rubbed his metal chin. "Take me to her."

"What?"

Both hands now rested on his cane. "You heard me."

* * *

The group had risen, bathed and dressed in their uniforms before heading to the mess hall. They had been seated in their usual spots as they ate silently. Ichigo had mentioned to the group that they were to have a meeting with a new caretaker after breakfast, and they had all silently acknowledged her words.

Kokoro was trying to eat as much as she could, but she didn't find much of her meal appetizing. She ate all the fruit on her plate, but everything else just gave her the feeling that it would be coming up later and she definitely didn't want that happening.

"Why aren't you eating, Kokoro?" Ikuno asked from beside her.

The blond shook her head, trying not to bring too much attention to herself. "I think I'm still full from dinner last night."

Ikuno gave her a curious look before glancing between their trays. Finally, she pushed the fruit that had been on her tray onto Kokoro's. "Here, eat the rest of my fruit. Today it seems really fresh."

Kokoro gave her an appreciative look, "Thank you."

Her fork speared a piece of a melon as she glanced at her partner, who was bringing and appropriately sized piece of meat into his mouth. He didn't bother looking at her, focusing on his meal.

Blue eyes fell to his left hand and she almost dropped the melon onto her tray. His finger that once held the band that was the twin to her own was no bare, a faint mark was the only evidence that it had even been there in the first place.

Kokoro felt her breath catch in her throat, her heart lurching in her chest. Her eyes fell, not wanting to look suspicious or as usual, catch the prying eyes of her fellow teammates who would most definitely question her. She forced herself to bite and chew on the piece of melon.

She looked down to her lap where her left hand had been resting. She shifted her hand and the small silver band caught the light and flashed faintly. Turning her hand over, she let her thumb caress the piece of metal.

The group had told them about the meaning behind the rings, that they had been a symbol of their strong and deep bond. They had apparently exchanged them at their 'wedding.' She, of course, had no memory of such an even, and neither did Mitsuru.

It had meant something though, to the group, and especially the pair.

But now, it seemed as though Mitsuru had not believed them, or maybe he didn't even care about what they had said and had decided to remove the symbol of their bond from his finger.

Her brows furrowed. If he had easily been able to take it off, why was she finding it harder to do so? Was she an idiot for feeling a little reluctant to take it off?

It had become her habit to touch the small ring while she mulled over her thoughts and feelings, trying to decipher the scattered images that would appear in her mind. She still hoped that it would one day help her jolt her memory into fully returning.

But the simple fact that Mitsuru appeared to be uncaring as to whether or not his memories would return honestly hurt Kokoro. Had she meant nothing to him?

Did he really have no desire to regain his memories that would put the puzzle pieces together?

If they had made such an apparent serious commitment before, could he really forget about it so easily?

She shoved the rest of her fruit into her mouth, taking a great effort to chew her food before swallowing. This time, she was the first to declare herself finished and she rose to her feet, excusing herself.

With so many parasites around, she didn't think any of the Nines would try to corner her. Kokoro made sure to keep to the hallways that were busy and didn't care if anyone paid attention to her, or that her teammates had looked after her with worried expressions on her face.

She entered the teams room and found a spot on the floor to sink onto. With shaking fingers, Kokoro twirled the ring around her finger, willing it to try and once again give her some sort of information form the past. Anything, she wanted anything to come up and try to help her make sense of things.

No matter how many times she spun the ring, or silently wished it would do what she asked, she had no answer. There was nothing. Gritting her teeth, Kokoro forced the ring off of her finger, it caught slightly on her finger before she successfully removed it.

Should she throw it away? Give it to Miku to hold onto? She didn't know.

Glancing around the room, she found the doll that she had been sleeping with since arriving at the Bird's Nest. That too, was something she had been told that she had made in the past. The dolls hair had been tied into pigtails, and before Kokoro knew it, she was placing the ring just behind the string holding the hair in place. She would figure out what exactly to do with it later.

Her hand felt bare, and now instead of a matching silver ring, she and Mitsuru had matching marks of where their rings had been.

It was like fate was silently laughing at her.

* * *

A mysterious lady was standing in front of the group, she was tall and had short purple hair. She was reading the paper on her clipboard robotically, explaining that their final mission was approaching and that they were to go out into their Franxx for a practice drill. It was important for all of them to participate as it was to prepare them for their large scale battle that was going to be greater than any fight they had been in. They were to encounter some klaxosaurs today, however they would not be as strong as what was to come.

By the time they had been finished being briefed, Kokoro was feeling nauseous again. This time, when she heaved herself towards the bathroom, her fellow female teammates followed after her.

"Kokoro, are you okay?" they were all concerned, watching as Kokoro threw up into the toilet. How embarrassing.

She felt someone patting her back, trying to help her body bring up whatever had made her stomach go sour. "Did the food taste bad to you today?" asked Ichigo who was bent beside her.

Kokoro wasn't sure what had caused her to feel this way again. When she ate her food earlier, they had both tasted delicious at the time. But any excuse was good enough for Kokoro. She didn't want the group to worry about her, they had a drill to complete anyway.

When she finished, she flushed the toilet and stood up, trying not to let her legs shake too much as she straightened herself.

"Are you sure you're okay?" asked Miku meekly, worry written all over her face. She moved aside to let Kokoro pass.

"Mm, I'm okay now."

The group glanced at one another as Kokoro cleaned her face, unsure of what to do next.

"Don't worry about me, everyone. I feel much better now!" She forced a smile on her face, hoping the others wouldn't question her further.

A moment passed between them before Ichigo nodded curtly. "Let's go, then."

Ikuno and Miku lead the way out of the bathroom heading towards the changing rooms. Kokoro felt a hand lightly grasp hers and she paused next to Ichigo.

"Don't push yourself too hard today," her words were stern, but also laced with trepidation. Not only was Ichigo her captain, she was also her friend.

"I won't."

Their changing room was enormous, being able to allow all the female parasites to change into their piloting gear without feeling like a can of sardines. There was talk of excitement from the surrounding squads of being able to pilot again, having been forced to stay on the ground for weeks. It appeared as though they couldn't wait to get out onto the field again, and were equally eager to start their final mission.

Her uniform felt a little tight, Kokoro noted, especially when she sat down. The skin tight material was meant to cling to her body, but for some reason today it was a little uncomfortable. She pulled the fabric away from her stomach to let herself breath more comfortably before she released it, letting it snap back to being flush against her skin.

She braided her hair as she followed the other girls out and onto the docks where their male partners waited for them. It had been a long time since Kokoro had been in a Franxx, and as she looked up at Genista, she began to mentally prepare herself.

Mitsuru hadn't bothered to say anything to her, only giving her a slight nod before turning to face the Franxx. When all of Squad 13 were prepared, the cockpits of the Franxx opened, and they all made their way into the core.

The familiar feeling of connecting to Genista coursed through Kokoro's veins and when she opened her eyes, she was looking out into the dock of the Bird's Nest rather than inside of the core.

Both she and Mitsuru were silent as the large metal doors opened, releasing all of the remaining parasite squads. They had been given a location and Squad 13 began their journey, following the coordinates. Lifting off the ground, Genista began flying in formation with the rest of their squad.

Kokoro was trying to be as focused on their mission as possible, also trying to reign in her thoughts and feelings about the current situation. Here she was, piloting with someone she thought she barely knew, meanwhile everyone else understood them to be quite close.

His motions were focused and trained as he piloted Genista from behind her. She didn't dare try to look at his face, but she imagined it would be blank of any emotion he might be feeling on the inside.

There was a flash on the screen and Ichigo's Franxx face popped up. "We are almost at our location, everyone prepare!"

Mitsuru made a sound of acknowledgement before the screen disappeared in a flash.

"Code 326, up ahead!"

For some reason when she said his name, it felt bizarre. The words did not roll off her tongue as nicely as she thought they would. She was used to saying the given names of her teammates, but she wasn't sure how exactly she should address her partner. She still felt a distance between them.

For now, she would continue to use his code name.

"Thanks, Code 556."

Soon they were upon the small group of klaxosaurs and the fighting commenced.

"This is too easy!" Zorome shouted, slashing a klaxosaur in half and watching it explode.

"Shut up and stay focused!" Miku hollered.

Their Franxx were gliding almost beautifully around the klaxosaurs, wasting no time in ridding the ground of the black and blue monsters. It was all too easy.

Strelizia was plowing through them one after another like it was a kind of game, her laughter being heard by all of Squad 13. Suddenly, she struck the ground, sending klaxosaurs flying, some explosion while others flew through the air with minimal damage.

A medium sized klaxosaur flew through the air and collided with Genista, knocking it slightly off its feet. There was a cry of worry from her fellow pistils, but Mitsuru was able to regain their footing before any serious damage could be done. Shoving the cannon into the klaxosaur, Mitsuru pulled the trigger and blue liquid sprayed everywhere.

"Mitsuru, Kokoro, are you alright?" Goro's face appeared on their screen.

"Yes," they both responded in unison.

"We're almost done here, lets clean the rest of this up and head back."

Kokoro had been so caught off guard by the klaxosaur that she lost focus of her thoughts and let an image that had been a revived memory flash through her mind. It was of them at a happier time, preparing the salad from weeks ago. If she could shake her head, she would have just to try and get rid of it for the time being.

Again their teammates focused on the klaxosaurs and just when Genista was about to take a step forward, then froze.

Quickly, she appeared on the screen and for the first time during their battle, was looking at him sitting in the cockpit. "Code 326? What's wrong?" she quickly asked, afraid that something could have been damaged from the impact of the klaxosaur.

The look he gave her was quizzical, and his eyes slightly narrowed as he studied her face.

"Code 326?" she questioned again, silently urging him to answer her. She could tell there was something that had disturbed him, but wasn't sure exactly what had happened.

After a moment, he shook his head. "It's nothing," and they both returned to battle.

This time when they battled, Mitsuru was faster, quicker, and rougher with his controlling. It didn't hurt, but Kokoro could feel that whatever had caused them to stop, was now something occupying his thoughts.

Mere moments passed and then it was silent. The group of klaxosaurs had been destroyed, their remnants laying scattered on the ground in pieces and splashes of blue liquid. Hachi's face appeared on all of their screens, telling them to return, and so they did.

The journey back was just as quiet, but this time Kokoro could feel the awkwardness between them. She could tell he had become upset and it worried her if she were the cause of it. She hated feeling responsible for upsetting someone and she was beginning to feel anxious.

They returned to the hangar and powered down. He made his way down and out of Genista and Kokoro silently followed, unsure if she should pry or not. Their fellow teammates were also exiting their Franxx and making their way out.

When they made it to the dock platform, he turned to her, his eyes still narrowed as if he was looking at a puzzle that seemed impossible to solve. Some form of inner struggle seemed to be plaguing him.

Just when she thought he would say something, Mitsuru turned and began walking away. She followed him at a distance, her hands clasped between her breasts.

He didn't turn to look at her again the rest of the day.

* * *

At night, Squad 13 were sleeping as peacefully as they could in their futons. Their soft snoring played in the background as Kokoro lay awake, staring blankly at the ceiling as she mentally mulled over what had happened that day.

Especially the way Mitsuru had looked at her when they returned to the dock.

Her stomach seemed to twist with the image of his expression in her mind, and she physically turned over to try and lessen the pain.

Why had it hurt her so much? Why was she having such a reaction just by the way he looked at her?

Of course it had something to do with their apparent past, but there was nothing she could do to force herself to remember things. There was no light switch to turn on where she could retrieve all of her lost memories, there was no magic drink she could take to restore them either.

That was what frustrated Kokoro the most.

Nothing. There was nothing she could do.

She only knew what she could do now, what all of them could do now.

They could fulfill Papa's dream and win in the final battle that awaited them all in the coming days. That was something she was sure she could do.

It was something she had been raised to know, to fulfill. There was no mystery behind it and it didn't come to her as a shocking memory.

She was born to fulfill Papa's wishes and his biggest dream was something she could help to fulfil, to fight and win. She would even give up her life in order to help fulfil his goal.

Maybe her memories would eventually come back to her, but she was tired of trying to push herself and was mentally exhausted by the frustration and helplessness of the whole situation.

It was then, that in the dark of night while most of the parasites slept, that Kokoro decided she would solely focus on their upcoming battle.

Whether or not she regained her memories would be decided later.

If she even made it out of the final battle alive.

* * *

The doctor followed Hachi down the long, isolated hallway. The sounds of his cane clicking against the ground vibrated all the way down the hall, the only noise that could alert others to their movements. There was no need to worry however, there wouldn't be any interruptions from anyone else. The doctor had made sure of that.

Eventually, they stopped in front of a door. Pressing his hand against the side, Hachi's prints granted them access and the door opened, revealing Nana. She was sitting in the dark, knees brought to her chest with a blank look on her face.

She didn't turn to him at first, remaining in her dazed state.

Dr. Franxx stepped forward, into the doorway, resting both hands on the top of his cane.

"Nana," he began and waited. It seemed as though his voice registered with her as she turned very slowly to look at him.

Her eyes were distant, face pale and unhealthy. She needed to eat a proper meal, and the doctor made a note of it. She was, after all a key component to the future.

"Come with me. It's time."


End file.
